Nowadays burnout seems like a badge of honor, like if you’re not running on empty, you’re not trying hard enough. But, let me introduce you to a simple yet profound concept that comes straight out of Jewish tradition: the shamash. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s the “helper candle” of the menorah during Hanukkah. The shamash’s job? To light up all the other candles while keeping its own flame burning strong.
It’s such a simple metaphor, but man, it hits hard: leaders are like shamash candles. The best ones lift up those around them—teams, employees, even peers—without snuffing out their own light. But too many leaders take on every task, every problem, like it’s all on them. That’s not noble; that’s how sparks fade, exhaustion sets in, and businesses flatline.
So, how do you light the way for others without burning yourself out? Let’s talk about it.
The Shamash Effect: Sharing the Flame
Picture this: a menorah filled with glowing candles, each one flickering bright because the shamash did its job. The shamash doesn’t burn out; it shares its flame. That’s the shamash effect: great leaders empower others to shine.
In business, this looks like:
- Delegating meaningful work (not just busywork).
- Coaching team members instead of micromanaging them.
- Trusting your people to take ownership of outcomes.
Over the years, I’ve been blessed to work with some incredible leaders who understood the power of the shamash effect. These were people who didn’t just lead—they empowered their teams to grow, innovate, and shine in their own right. They trusted their people to take ownership of the process, and as a result, the work didn’t just get done; it thrived.
When you see that kind of leadership in action, it’s inspiring. It reminds you that the best leaders don’t hoard the spotlight. They create opportunities for others to step up and lead, sparking a cycle of growth that benefits everyone.
Burnout Isn’t a Badge of Honor
I’ll say it louder for the people in the back: burnout doesn’t make you a better leader. You’re not more committed or heroic because you pull all-nighters or answer Slack messages at midnight (some people who know me are probably saying “pot meet kettle).
Here’s the truth: burned-out leaders set a dangerous tone for their teams. You’re teaching your employees that work comes before well-being— and no one wins in that equation. Not you. Not your team. Not the business.
Leading like a shamash means recognizing your flame matters too. When you prioritize your energy, your team learns to do the same.
Some practical ways to avoid burning out include:
- Setting boundaries—real ones. Even for yourself. (Yes, your team is watching.)
- Practicing real delegation—letting go of the need for control.
- Taking time to recharge creatively and personally. You know, so you don’t turn into a grumpy sleep-deprived zombie.
For me, it’s about showing my girls that their dad can be passionate about work and be present at bedtime. Because what’s the point of all this hustle if you’re too fried to enjoy the good stuff? There’s no badge of honor in being too exhausted to be there for life’s little moments.
Your Spark Inspires Others—Don’t Let It Go Out
Let me ask you something: who inspires you more? The leader who’s dragging themselves into every meeting like it’s a chore—or the one who’s lit up with passion and purpose?
People follow sparks, not burnout. Take some of the best leaders you know—maybe in business, politics, sports. What do they all have in common? They’re lit up. They have energy. And they share that energy with the people around them.
I call this “operating from your spark.” It means showing up every day with intention, curiosity, and a sense of purpose—whether you’re leading a team of three or three hundred.
Here’s how you can reignite your own spark:
- Reconnect to your “why.” Why are you leading in the first place? (Hint: It’s probably more than just for the paycheck.)
- Celebrate progress, not just results. Even small wins keep morale high and sparks alive.
- Find joy in the process. Leading a team doesn’t always have to feel like heavy lifting.
Be the Helper Candle, Not the Hero
So many leaders fall into the “hero” trap. They think they need to solve everything, fix everything, be everything. That’s exhausting—and it robs your team of the chance to step up and grow.
The shamash, though? It’s a helper, not a hero. Its purpose is to light others up.
In practice, this means:
- Giving your team tools and resources to succeed and then getting out of the way.
- Asking questions instead of providing all the answers.
- Celebrate your team’s wins, not just your own.
You don’t have to be the brightest candle in the room. You just need to help everyone else shine.
Let’s Glow
At its core, being a shamash leader is about sustainability. It’s about creating a culture where everyone—including you—can thrive without teetering on the edge of burnout.
So next time you’re staring down a leadership challenge, ask yourself: are you lighting up your team while keeping your own flame alive? Or are you burning yourself out trying to do it all?
Because the truth is, when you empower others, the whole team glows. And when everyone’s light comes together, the glow is unstoppable.
Now It’s Your Turn
Got tips for leading without burnout? I’d love to hear them—comment below or let’s chat over on LinkedIn. After all, leadership’s a team sport.
