Celebrating 93 Years of Wisdom: Lessons from My Grandmother, Buba Luba

From Uruguay to the U.S. My Grandmother’s Journey Taught Me the Power of Resilience, Forgiveness, and Lifelong Learning

Today, my family gathers to celebrate the incredible 93 years of my grandmother, Buba Luba. Born in Montevideo, Uruguay, in 1932, she has lived a life filled with challenges, triumphs, and lessons that resonate across generations. As I reflect on her journey, I’m struck by how her story intertwines with my own and how her values have shaped the family she worked so hard to build.

A Bold Leap for a Better Life

In late 1964, my grandparents, Buba Luba and my Zaide Ori, left their home in Uruguay and immigrated to the United States. They came with a dream for a better life for their young family, bringing my mom, Frida, who was just four years old at the time and my Buba many months pregnant. Soon after arriving, my aunt was born in New York, completing their little unit.

Starting over in a new country is daunting for anyone, but imagine doing so without speaking the language, far away from your whole support system and with limited resources. Yet, my grandparents worked tirelessly to provide opportunities for their daughters. They prioritized education, sending both to private Jewish day school while sacrificing luxuries for themselves. New clothes and fancy meals were secondary to ensuring their children had access to a strong Jewish education and a foundation for success.

This selflessness is one of many traits that defined my grandmother. It’s a reminder that success isn’t measured by what you have but by what you’re willing to give for the people you love.

Language as a Bridge

When Buba Luba arrived in the U.S. she didn’t speak a word of English. But in true Buba fashion, she approached the challenge head-on. Her “classroom” was her living room. She learned the language by watching TV and reading the newspaper.

Her English was never perfect, but it didn’t need to be. What mattered was her determination to meet people where they were. Whether she was at the grocery store, chatting with neighbors, or navigating parent-teacher conferences, she always defaulted to English in public. She understood that communication is about connection, not perfection, a lesson I carry with me in both my personal and professional life.

The Smartest Person I Know

Here’s the thing about Buba: she wasn’t just resourceful; she was brilliant. My dad often says she’s the smartest person he’s ever met, and I couldn’t agree more. (Sorry, Mom and JB) Her intelligence wasn’t just about academics. It was her ability to adapt, to solve problems, and to see the world with an insightful clarity that always left me in awe.

She taught me that learning never stops. Whether it was mastering English as an adult or navigating the complexities of life in a new country, she proved that curiosity and a hunger for knowledge can carry you through anything.

A Heart Full of Forgiveness

Life wasn’t always kind to Buba Luba. Later in life, my Zaide Ori made choices that broke her heart. He left her for someone else, a betrayal that would devastate most people. But Buba didn’t let anger or resentment define her. To this day, she still speaks of him with love, focusing on the happy moments they shared rather than the pain he caused.

Her ability to forgive taught me one of the most profound lessons of my life: bitterness is a heavy burden, but forgiveness can set you free. She chose to hold onto the love they had instead of the hurt, showing me that there’s always a reason to look for the light, even in the darkest moments.

A Creative Bloom Later in Life

After my grandfather left, Buba faced yet another challenge: she battled cancer. During this difficult time, she turned to poetry and painting as outlets for her emotions and a way to rediscover joy. These creative pursuits became her solace, allowing her to express feelings she didn’t always have the words for.

Her art wasn’t just beautiful. It was deeply personal, a reflection of her resilience and her ability to find beauty even in hardship. Watching her pour herself into poetry and painting reminded me that it’s never too late to try something new and that creativity can be a powerful source of healing.

Memories That Last a Lifetime

Today, as I sit with her in the memory care wing of her retirement community, celebrating her 93rd birthday, I’m hit with a flood of memories that feel as vivid as yesterday. I think back to the summer I lived with her when I was 15. I had this big plan to sharpen my Spanish skills and, naturally, insisted she speak to me only in Spanish. Buba, ever the good sport, humored me, grinning through my awkward grammar and correcting me when I needed it (which was a lot).

When she moved to Miami later in life, she became the beating heart of our family Shabbat dinners. Her love for hosting brought us all together around the table. That small table was always full, of people, of food, of stories. There was this warmth in her smile as she welcomed us, a feeling like everything else could wait because, for now, we were all together.

Now, as a father myself, I think about those Shabbat dinners often. I try to recreate that sense of connection and joy for my own kids. Buba wasn’t just serving meals; she was building traditions, ones that would carry on through me and, hopefully, through my daughters. Her laughter, her love, her stubborn insistence that everyone take seconds (even thirds), those Fridays weren’t just dinners. They were a celebration of everything good in life, and Buba was always at the center.

Lessons to Carry Forward

The greatest gifts Buba has given me are her values. She taught me the importance of family, the power of forgiveness, and the beauty of lifelong learning. She showed me that success isn’t about what you achieve for yourself but what you give to others.

Her resilience, her grace, and her ability to find joy in the little things continue to inspire me every day. As I look at her today, 93 years young, I’m reminded that life isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it.

Happy birthday, Buba. Thank you for the memories, the lessons, and the love. You’ve given us all more than we could ever repay, and we’re so lucky to have you in our lives.