Lessons in Patience: What Bedtime Battles Taught Me About Myself

How bedtime battles with my kids became unexpected lessons in patience, self-awareness, and embracing the chaos.

Parenting is a never-ending rollercoaster, isn’t it? Some nights feel like you’re nailing it—reading a bedtime story as your child drifts off peacefully. Other nights? Chaos reigns supreme. My journey through bedtime battles with Yael (and more recently, Diana) has been a test of patience, endurance, and, let’s be honest, self-reflection. Spoiler alert: the kids weren’t the only ones learning something.

The (Not So) Peaceful Bedtime Routine

Bedtime starts innocently enough—baths, PJs, and a little Goodnight Moon. Then comes the resistance. With Yael, it’s usually, “One more book, Dada!” or the strategic stalling: “I’m thirsty!” Diana, at just over a year old, has a simpler tactic—crying like her world is ending until I figure out the perfect bounce-pat-rock combo.

At first, I thought this was about the kids pushing limits or just being tired. But the more I leaned into those moments (instead of dreading them), the clearer it became: the universe was handing me a mirror.

What Bedtime Battles Taught Me

1. Patience Is a Muscle You Can Build

Let me tell you, patience is not something you just have. It’s earned in the trenches—rocking a crying baby at 3 AM or negotiating with a toddler like you’re pitching to a client who walked in already rooting for your competitor. These bedtime battles forced me to pause, breathe, and respond instead of react.

2. Kids Aren’t the Only Ones With Big Feelings

Ever been on edge because bedtime isn’t going according to plan? That’s me and my wife, two grown adults, getting frustrated that a two-year-old won’t “cooperate.” These moments made me confront my own emotional triggers. Why was I so stressed when things didn’t go according to plan? Spoiler: it wasn’t really about the kids or the bedtime routine—it was about control.

3. Control Is Overrated

Parenting has a way of humbling control freaks (hi, nice to meet you). Bedtime chaos taught me that trying to control every variable—how long it takes, how smoothly it goes—is a fast track to frustration. Letting go, even a little, has been liberating.

Finding Growth in the Chaos

These little battles aren’t just about getting the kids to bed; they’re about becoming the kind of parent (and person) I aspire to be. When I handle a meltdown with calm instead of frustration, I feel like I’m giving my kids a model for managing their emotions.

But it’s not all deep and profound. Sometimes, it’s also hilarious. Like when Yael dramatically declares, “I can’t sleep without my Eli (her elephant lovie)!” at 10 PM, even though she threw it out of the bed, or Diana calms down only to immediately spit up all over one of us. These are the moments that remind me: parenting is a beautiful mess.

Takeaways for Fellow Tired Parents

If you’re in the thick of bedtime battles, here’s what I’ve learned:

• It’s Not About You: Kids aren’t refusing to sleep to spite you (even if it feels that way). They’re figuring out their world—and you’re their safe space to test boundaries.
• Breathe: Seriously, take a second. If I can stay calm while my toddler asks for one more story for the eighth time, so can you.
• Remember the Humor: Parenting is ridiculous sometimes. Laugh at the absurdity when you can.

The Bigger Picture

Parenting is full of “teachable moments,” but let’s not kid ourselves—it’s teaching us just as much. Every bedtime battle, every tantrum, every sweet cuddle after the storm reminds me that personal growth isn’t always quiet or glamorous. Sometimes, it’s loud, chaotic, and sticky (thanks, baby spit-up).

So, the next time you’re in the trenches, remember: you’re not just putting your kid to bed. You’re putting in the work to become the best version of yourself. And that, my friends, is worth all the bedtime drama.

What’s been your biggest lesson from parenting chaos? Share your story—I’d love to commiserate (and maybe swap flamingo-related bedtime anecdotes).